Reiseberichte - 1 bis 20

I am not too sure, which theory applies more often: the self destroying, or the self fulfilling prophecy? When I decided to travel across Austria by train I was more than counting on the first. Austrian trains generally make you wonder whether its still the 20st century you are in, but recently I have been tricked into thinking the government invested into new trains, by mistakenly boarding a German train. (uhm, acutally I was not boarding it, I just dropped a

friend there). So Wrong. Back to this one.

Austria is a small country and usually it takes you seven hours to get from one end to the other. Due to a late change of plans I had missed all the cheap flights (they do exist), and saw myself facing the decision, whether to travel by train or car. Before my inner eye there appeared this modern, cool train compartments compared to blocked highways and steadily increasing gas prices, and having to drive the seven hours all by myself.

Buying the ticket is easy now, a few taps on the touch screen and you are done, and pretty much ready to go. My first glimpse at the platform reminds me of train travel in India. The second one isnt any better. The train is definitely not one of the new ones, and its full. Actually is more than full, its overfull – packed, stuffed.... Six people and more are squeezed into the tiny compartments, which all would have been bearable somehow, had the aircon worked. Well, it did not. Unfortunately there is only a few opportunities that make me travel with light luggage – actually not even weekend trips make me pack less. A two weeks holiday in Vorarlberg, where weather conditions in August can be anything from snow down to 1000 meters to 37 degrees in the shade, made me pack for a few occasions, not to mention my sports equipment. To cut it short: my suitcase usually is the largest of any series available. After having crossed the train from one end to the other, not without bumping on a few knees, or feet that were within reach, I decide there isn’t any good options. Just worse and worst. It ranges from hot to smelly and hot, to smelly, hot and dogs/kids. I go for hot. I don’t even want to mention the word hot, since sweat is dripping from my every pore pulling and dragging my large suitcase plus handbag plus computer case along the train. Entering one compartment four people look at my with some sort of disbelief when seeing the size of my suitcase – but neither of us really has other options.

That makes it the six of us, in a compartment with 35 degrees and no aircon. Sill no aircon. The conductor claims the aircon is working, I suspect, he told that lie more than just once that day. Poor sinner may be forgiven, after all, its not his fault. The announcement „people who have not found a seat on this train could travel with another that would follow the first one is late and only announced in german. Clever one – when its main travel season and the train is full of tourists. What is there to do? Its too hot to do anything and grumpiness is making the air full of tension. Great idea, i think – what on earth made me think trains got any better since I was a student? Dinner car is an option but then that would mean I have to cross the smelly hot train from one end to the other? Maybe later. I sum up: I am hot, I am sticky, I am am bored and there is still 5 hours of travel ahead of me and I wonder if I will die of dehydration or rather some bacterial infection or maybe hit by a suitcase that falls down. One hour later some sort of miracle happens. Its just a small miracle, but in this situation anything goes. Three people of our compartment leave at second stop. Finally I can stretch my legs, knowing its not going to be for long. Other people will see the opportunity and come and take their seats – thats for sure. Too many people are coming in. WE decide in this situation we can get away with a lie and I let the amount of my luggage work for me. When the first party of three asks about the seats, I tell them, they just left for the dining car. My desperation and the tension that comes with degrees above 35 make people actually believe me. After having told the lie for the 5th time I almost believe my own story - there is other people that just left for a quick visit at the (air-conditioned) dining car.

Speaking of it makes me hungry and thirsty but who would guard the seats then? A waiter raises my hopes for a relieving cool beer and destroys it all the same: He offers HOT coffee and only hot coffee. Who on earth would want to drink hot coffee when its 35 degrees? Arabs? Crazy people? Caffeine junkies? Problem is with that heat int he compartment there is few hope it might ever even cool down! However, the sweat on his forehead makes me feel sorry for the guy – serving coffee in a hot and shaky train is probably not what he had imagined his life to be. I am getting really bad vibes from a woman who would not believe the “others are in the dining car story”, but there is nothing she can do about it. Somehow I understand her, I would feel the same.. just this time its a survival of the fittest. Still 5 hours to go. Has the clock moved at all? What happened to trains with windows? When did they stop building trains where one actually can open the window? Was it when they started to build in that malfunctionous air-condition systems? News on that front brought to us by the conductor. Apparently some mechanic is going to repair, or try to repair that bloody aircon in Salzburg. Also two more wagons are added to the train, “due to erhöhtes Reiseaufkommen”. Needless to say this announcement, too is only done in German. Poor not german speaking bastards will never find out about that new opportunity for comfortable travel.

Comfortable train travel that is. I wonder if it actually exist at all. Maybe its two words that just dont go togehter: comfortable and train? On the other hand: comfortable hardly ever goes with travel at all, unless one is on a “splurge it – budget”. To top the situation there is no mobile phone reception and my internet connection breaks down frequently... on the other hand- what would I wirte about if everything was just great? Thinking about it, travel usually comes with long periods of waiting, fighting for the best seats, guarding luggage, finding seats, more waiting. Just that it also brings those glorious moments when you have fianlly reached your destination, have settled, can stretch your legs and open that very first can of bear. HEAVEN. Or if you leave cold and grey winter in Europe for the Southern Hemmisphere or other warm climates. That first step into warmth and light and air.. as I said: glorious.
Which it is so not, right here. Actually its getting even worse because the evil black-haired woman now attacks us and wants to know where the suspicious people from the dinner compartment are, and threats us to get the conductor. Now that’s a funny one. The lying conductor that promised us a repaired aircon would do exactly nothing about that, at least that was for sure. Still, I wonder if those additional wagons hold the key to cold air and space? The still remaining four hours make me give in to suspicion and cross the smelly hot train to the other end. Situation there: waggons that must have been built in the 30ies, and pretty much the opposite situation: its empty, there are windows, but no aircon. Travelling at 130 k with the windows open isnt exactly the most quiet form of travel, but still the pros are present. Space and air will make up for the noise, or at least I hope so. But first comes crossing the train with heaps of luggage and heaps of people that block the way. I run over a couple of feet, and am sure my bag tangles in front of a couple of people´s faces. I feel a bit like Lara Croft fighting against a whole army of enemies: kick (doors), elbow (other doors), slide (suitcase), and from the beginning. Still... its funny: kick, elbow kick, slide, kick... Sweat once again drops from my nose and my knees will be full of blueys from pushing the doors but in the end we reach our new, or OWN compartment. Our own, airy, NOISY compartment, that makes us feel very close to the scenery. WE even get the typical smells that come with rural landscapes. The fact that now we have to scream at each other is a bit annoying but we handle it. WE have no choice anyway, do we?
Uhm, by now its almost six, which leaves us with just three more hours of travelling. Yeay.
Another visitor in our airy, noisy comparment: my beloved travel companion claims: yuck ,there is a bug! Looking at it it have to say.. its so not a bug. Its a cockroach! Cockroaches in Austrian trains. Nice. I cannot resist to take a picture of it, just to prove it: there are cockroaches in Austrian trains. Having mentioned glorious moments before: one is about to approach: Finally its time for a cold beer and somehow our travel is not so bad anymore. There may be cockroaches and my voice is hoarse from our screaming conversation, but the scenery is beautiful, the beer is cold and we have space and air. In that way, and with a second beer we finally approach our final destination, almost on time.
Thanks ÖBB, you have helped to make this journey quite an adventure!